Nonviolent Communication (NVC) comes from humanistic psychology and was founded by Marshall Rosenberg. It describes on the one hand the concrete communication technique with four steps and on the other hand an attitude, i.e. an inner attitude in dealing with ourselves and others. The method of the GFK with its four communication steps observation, feeling, need and request can serve us as a tool in contact with others and with ourselves as orientation.
This allows us to recognize better what is really important to us. It is easier for us to find solutions with which we can fulfil this important requirement - our needs.
But first of all it makes sense to find out what the attitude behind this communication technology is:
The non-violent attitude is based on the theory that everything we do has the fulfilment of needs as its goal. So we don't think in the categories "right" and "wrong", but look at whether the chosen strategy fulfils one's own needs and those of the other person. If this is not the case, we can look for other strategies that better meet the needs of the actor.
Example:
Max has a strong need to be seen. He could try to fulfill this need by dancing on the table with dirty shoes and shouting loudly. But this can leave Kim, Helga and Bernd's needs for peace, cleanliness and harmony unfulfilled. Here it would have to be considered whether there is another strategy that satisfies Max's need to be seen and touches the needs of others less or not at all.
In addition, the attitude of Nonviolent Communication implies that only we ourselves have responsibility for our feelings and needs.
For example, if Max is dancing and yelling on the table, Kim might be angry because she has a need for rest. So the anger is caused by her unfulfilled need. Max' behaviour, on the other hand, is only the trigger, the signal that your need for rest is not fulfilled. It might just as well be that Helga isn't angry because she doesn't have such a strong need for rest. Instead, she's happy that Max is creating the mood because her need for entertainment is fulfilled.
So whether we are affected by a behaviour or happy about it is not a matter of another person's actions, but of our current needs and thought patterns. It was very important for Marshall Rosenberg to make it clear that it's not just about different words, but about an attitude.
You will find more about the 4 steps of non-violent communication above (in the menu item "Learn"). The non-violent communication stands on several legs, also empathy (and self-tempathy) is an important one.